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The Bloat

by The Bloat

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  • Cassette + Digital Album

    A cassette tape in a plastic box! Edition of 50. Around 30 minutes of insipid music played by vile dipsomaniacs. Cover art by Tarah Cards.

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1.
Fuck The Sun 05:16
FUCK THE SUN, by The Bloat I’ve got a feeling, it might be wrong But fuck the sun I’ve had this feeling since I was young Fuck the sun It may be nice to sun in your thong Fuck the sun We are the earth, ten million strong Fuck the sun Fuck the sun Going for a night swim high as fuck on Dexatrim Fuck the sun Flesh eating virus transmitted by light Shining off faces get out of my sight Life is more suited to time in the dark Hidden in shrubbery alone in the park The sun is for cancer and burning your eyes The world would be better with it gone from the sky My cock is a dagger made out of ice to fuck the sun For parching the Earth it must pay the price Fuck the sun When you look around space and see all the other stars You quickly realize they’re all much better than ours Fuck the sun Fuck the sun The sun only shines to expose all our flaws Fuck the sun The sun grows the flowers we turn into drugs The bee fucks the flower and then other bugs Its all quite disgusting and time it should quit We can use science to make better shit Fuck the sun Fuck the sun Someday the sun will run out of gas Fuck the sun Then we can say that we’re free at last Fuck the sun Stop lighting this world it’s a bore to look at Fuck the sun Let’s get it over, I say we nuke it Fuck the sun There will come a day when we’ll find a way To break off our orbit and shoot out into space Fuck The Sun
2.
Cut It 04:44
CUT IT, by The Bloat I’m gonna take you out tonight in the moonlight on my clipper ship It’s made of old growth trees, we use them as we please because they’re assholes And we don’t give a damn Let’s set the sea on fire, the ocean’s funeral pyre The fishes hate you But I don’t for tonight anyway It’s so frightening the way they hate you We’re pulling into port, let’s have another snort, we should be conscious I want you conscious Feel the spray on your face, there’s a salty taste The mermen and mermaids entranced in dances I steal another kiss, moment of fleeting bliss I see them waiting Soon their daggers will stab my poor head, my poor feet Their daggers hate me Tonight I’m bound to leave you Let’s drop the anchor now, I’m getting anxious The men are waiting there with flaming branches Let’s drop the anchor now, it’s our last chance Let’s join the sea men and sea maids in their ancient dance Before it’s too late Now that we’re both here there’s something that I fear I should enlighten you The black moon is a spider It’s in your eyes It’s gonna bite you It should delight you It bit me on that day before we went away And I sealed our fate by taking you to this place The spider moon looks down, she wears a sultry frown And we’re both bound to die and the sea drags us down They tear us limb from limb, our souls are free now Mermen and mermaids swim, maybe they’ll teach us how Their knives are piercing our skin, we’re bound to live this again Why must you taunt me, don’t fucking haunt me
3.
BOTH HANDS FREE, by The Bloat I get a lot of important calls behind the wheel and in bathroom stalls I can’t be holding up a fucking phone I need both hand when I get home I need both hands free I need both hands free to touch you I need both hands free I need both hands free to touch you Tell your father and the neighbors too They should probably get a bluetooth too You bother them almost as much as me So many reasons to have their hands free They need both hands free They need both hands free to choke you They need both hands free They need both hands free to choke you Yes they do, through and through Sometimes one hand just isn’t enough When you’re a man who does all kinds of stuff There’s conversations I want to hear That’s why I have bluetooths in both of my ears I need both hands free I need both hands free to feel you I need both hands free I need both hands free to steal you
4.
The Fall 05:01
THE FALL by The Bloat It wasn’t an accident when you feel from my window You’re broken and bent, bruised, battered and bleeding No, don’t get up Your spine might be broken There’s certainly some internal bleeding Your twisted and limp, you’ll walk like a gimp til your one hundred and eighty I wonder who pushed you, I was nowhere around Please don’t move, there’s nothing you can do The doctor will be here tomorrow to peel you off the ground You’re fucked! It looks very painful, I can’t believe you survived That was a horrible fall, Here take this Rohypnol You won’t remember this at all You seem to be fading You’re looking quite pale And you’re starting to bloat Should I throw you in the moat I hear the tolling of the bell
5.
Olde Poppyes 08:38
OLDE POPPYES, by The Bloat How quickly one goes from favorite to the garbage can How quickly one fades into obscurity in this horrid land Take from me this rind of cheese Take from me this bottle of piss How quickly one goes from favorite to the garbage can How quickly the flesh is slapped right off of your hand In this land who is a man and who is woman and who can be so free and see the way today anyway You ruined it! We could have been such wonderful friends But you ruined it We could have had such a wonderful time But you ruined it The stains won’t come out The fluid came right out of your mouth The stains won’t come out The blood won’t stop pouring out Fetid memories dipped in rancid vegetable oil Dripping down Who will clean up the mess? I thought you were the best But you’re just like all the rest I’m wearing a handsome vest We could have been such wonderful friends But you ruined it It started out lovely but then in the end Of course you ruined it I went to the ancient kingdom of India To swim in the Ganges But there were piranhas when I got in the water And I lost a phalanges Oh! There’s nothing I won’t do To ruin things with you Will you ruin things too? Of course you will We could have been such wonderful friends But you ruined it It started out lovely but then in the end Of course you ruined it I went to the forest to forage for meaning But all I found was shit Then I went to the desert and talked to the lizard He told me I should quit Oh! There’s nothing I won’t do To ruin things with you Will you ruin things too? Well you fucking already did. This isn’t a song it’s a method of torture Because I hate you I thought of a future when you didn’t ruin it My hate is soft like a fuzzy brick My hate is warm like pile of shit My feelings change it’s hit or miss I guess with you I missed My hate is cool like a frozen corpse My hate comes cheap like a dirty whore My hate is crippled it limps along Like the second verse in this fucking song that goes just a little bit too long
6.

about

We don't care, and we don't like anything. We don't even like each other. We barely made it through this recording session. Our manager insisted we put this up on the internet. We can't stand the internet.

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released May 23, 2018

Recorded with pills in a castle.

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